If Destiny Is Known, What Do Our Choices Mean?

14 February 2021

If Allah Knows, Why Am I Making Choices?

Have you ever asked yourself, “If Allah knows what I will do tomorrow, what does my choice mean? If what I will do is already known, can I act differently?” This question truly occupies people’s minds. We think about it even more when we are going through a difficult period, facing the consequences of a wrong decision, or afraid of our future. Let us not give an immediate answer and move on. First, let us look at what we are confusing: Is knowing something the same as forcing it to happen?

We know time by living through it. We remember what we did yesterday, see the options before us today, and do not know tomorrow. When we set out to go somewhere, we can estimate how long the journey will take. But we cannot fully know what we will encounter. Both our knowledge and our power are limited. When we place Allah within the limits of the time we experience, however, we struggle to understand the matter. Reflecting on Allah’s transcendence of time and space helps us recognize our own limits. Allah knowing something that has not yet happened for us does not mean He forcibly makes that choice in our place.

Think about breakfast. You decided to cook eggs. Then you changed your mind and prepared something else. Perhaps you opened the refrigerator, saw that an ingredient was missing, and decided again. How many choices did you make even at the very beginning of the day? You do not live as though someone has condemned you to a single breakfast. You choose, change, try, and encounter the outcome. Allah knowing all of this and your doing it willingly do not replace one another. Knowing is one thing; forcing is another.

Is Success Ours, but the Mistake Destiny’s?

Now let us turn toward ourselves a little. How do we speak when we succeed at something? We say, “I worked, made an effort, did not give up, and succeeded.” We recognize our own effort in these words. Then why can we sometimes not show the same openness when we do wrong? When we hurt someone, fail to repay a debt, or turn toward unjust earnings, we may find it easy to say immediately, “Such was my destiny.” If we claim success for ourselves while entirely casting off responsibility for wrongdoing, are we being honest with ourselves?

Imagine lending someone money. The repayment date arrives, but the person says, “It was my destiny not to pay, and yours not to receive it.” Would this explanation convince you? You would most likely seek what is rightfully yours. Because you know that they acted, made a promise, and must carry responsibility for their word. We need to maintain the same standard when it concerns ourselves. We should look for the honesty we expect from others in our own behavior too.

This does not mean that everything that happens to us in life is our choice. We do not choose where we are born, our family, or every circumstance we will encounter. Other people’s decisions also touch our lives. But we have to distinguish circumstances beyond our control from decisions we make ourselves. We cannot behave as though we have no responsibility simply because we cannot control everything. Postponing a good deed we could do and continuing behavior we know is wrong are both choices we need to consider.

Who Presses the Button in the Elevator?

Imagine entering an elevator. Before you are buttons for different floors. You decide which floor to go to and press the button. But you do not create the rooms, corridor, and entire arrangement of the floor you reach at that moment. Following a choice, you encounter an arrangement prepared beforehand. This example does not explain every detail of life, but it helps us think about the difference between choosing and creating everything. People make choices, but they do not own everything they will encounter where they choose to go.

We experience something similar when opening a page on the internet. We choose which link to click. Sometimes we see what is on the page only after entering it. The person who prepared the page knows its content before we do. Our not knowing does not prevent us from choosing; their knowing does not mean they clicked the button in our place. While considering these things, let us not equate Allah’s knowledge with human knowledge. What we are focusing on here is making the distinction between knowing and choosing more understandable.

We also choose to set out on a journey, but we may not know beforehand that there is an accident ahead. Another driver’s decision may change our journey. This means our choices are not confined to ourselves alone. When we see a dangerous object on the road and move it aside, we may help protect someone coming behind us from an accident. An action we consider small can have a great effect on another person’s life. That is why we should place the question “How does what I do affect someone else?” alongside “What will I gain?”

What Are We Doing While We Pray?

People need help because they do not know the future. We make a decision and prepare, yet we cannot see every possibility we will encounter. When praying, we acknowledge this limit too. We ask our Lord for help and pray to see what is right and turn back from our mistakes. But we should not turn prayer into a reason for abandoning the work we must do ourselves. Asking for help and abandoning responsibility are not the same.

Imagine that we are looking for work. We say, “I pray a great deal, but I cannot find a job.” But are we following up on our applications? Are we calling to arrange an interview? Are we trying to learn something we lack in our profession? Sometimes, while focusing intensely on the result we want, we may neglect the effort that will lead to it. Of course, working does not guarantee that we will immediately obtain every result we want. But the absence of a guaranteed outcome does not make effort unnecessary.

The Prophet Adam’s turning to his Lord after his mistake also tells us something here. Acknowledging a wrong does not close the way ahead; it opens a door to correction. Continually blaming someone else instead of recognizing our own part, however, may keep us in the same place. Let us consider Iblis’s blaming attitude and Adam’s attitude of taking responsibility and asking forgiveness. Which do we approach when we do wrong? Do we find new excuses to defend ourselves, or can we ask, “I did wrong here; what can I correct now?”

Reliance on Allah also means trusting Him after making an effort, acknowledging that we cannot control everything. We may have fears when starting a job, marrying, or setting out on a journey. We do what we can, act according to what we know to be right, and ask our Lord for help. We cannot stop life because we cannot control every possibility. But neither can we abandon precautions by using things beyond our control as an excuse. Working, praying, and trusting should find a place together in our lives.

Does Asking for Help Mean Leaving the Entire Burden?

Think of someone whose car is stranded on a snowy road. They ask you for help but remain seated. They expect you to take out the chains, fit them, and do all the work. How would it make you feel if they made no effort despite being able to do so? There is a difference between working together and leaving all responsibility to someone else. This example matters not so that we judge another person without knowing their actual abilities, but so that we look at our own behavior.

You may experience something similar when a friend is moving. You go to help, while they sit and leave the whole burden to you. Helping one another is good, but turning help into a habit that eliminates one’s own responsibility wears relationships down. When we ask for support, are we doing our own part? When we continually leave a task we can do to someone else, do we consider its effect on their time and effort?

We need the same balance when raising children. Providing for all a child’s needs without giving them any responsibility can make it difficult for them to learn to make an effort. But the answer is not to place all the housework on the child. Doing an age-appropriate task together, showing how it is done, and asking for their contribution is something different. Teaching responsibility and exploiting a person’s labor should not be confused. Balance is needed not only in the comfort we want for ourselves, but also in the work we assign to others.

Can We Tell the Truth to Someone We Love?

When someone close to us describes their difficulties, we want to stand beside them. But does standing beside them mean finding every action of theirs right? If someone who wants to pay off a debt has no wish to change the choices that led to it, simply giving money may not solve the problem. Sometimes people need to look again at their spending, the way of life they have become accustomed to, or the conditions of their business. While considering how to help, we should also try to understand the person’s real need, what they can do, and what our support is sustaining.

The same situation arises in relationships. A married friend may try to justify another relationship solely through their feelings. We do not have to overlook the injustice simply because we love them. We can speak clearly without hurting them: “There are people being hurt here. You need to consider the responsibility of your promise and correct this wrong.” Sincerity does not mean saying only what someone wants to hear. Sometimes true friendship means helping them take a right step instead of remaining together in the wrong.

Let Us Examine Ourselves in Both Abundance and Hardship

Let us not look for life’s test only in losses. Health, money, family, and children also reveal how we behave. When things are going well, we may begin to attribute everything to our own power. Yet we possess the mind, body, time, and opportunities that allow us to work. While acknowledging the value of our effort, we can remember these too. Being grateful does not mean saying, “I did nothing.” It means putting both the effort we make and the opportunities given to us in their proper places.

When hardship comes, there is another danger: seeing a loss as the end of our entire life. Our business may go badly, a decision may turn out to be wrong, or a door we awaited may not open. These things hurt. But a mistake in one area does not entirely remove the opportunity to do another good deed. If we made a mistake, we can repent; if we caused harm, we can seek to make amends; we can learn something we have not learned. Looking at our own part without losing hope may be a way to begin again.

Wanting something very much also calls us to be careful. If we make our work, money, or child the sole meaning of life, every change in that area can shake our entire balance. Love is beautiful, but when we place what we love above every standard, we may begin making wrong decisions. Let us ask ourselves from time to time: “Does this desire make me more honest, fair, and responsible? Or am I making my whole life revolve around it?”

We can also consider the efforts of past generations from this perspective. We did not create many of the opportunities we benefit from today entirely on our own. The choices of people who worked, produced, and made sacrifices before us have reached our lives. What we do today will also affect other people’s circumstances tomorrow. The relationships we build at home, the honesty we show at work, and the support we give those around us can leave a mark after us too. That is why responsibility should not be limited to our own comfort. One person’s good action can encourage another to do good. Thus, an act of help that begins small can reach places we never see.

Let us not wait to hold a high position or possess great wealth to do this. What we have may sometimes be time to listen, sometimes sound knowledge to share, and sometimes a small task to do. Not everyone has the same strength or circumstances. Instead of measuring ourselves against someone else’s life, let us look at which responsibility we can fulfill where we are. Let us not consider a good deed we can do today worthless merely because it seems small.

What Right Step Can We Take Today?

We consult an instruction manual when assembling a device. We study and work for years to learn a profession. But how much time do we devote to understanding the knowledge that will guide our lives? If we see the Qur’an merely as a text to read through and finish, we may miss how what we learn relates to our decisions. We should consider how a verse we read relates to our work, family, and promises. There is a connection that needs to be established between saying we believe and acting in accordance with that belief.

We do not have to find the answer to every question at once today. But we can take a step to practice something we know is right. We can discuss an overdue debt, apologize to someone we have hurt, follow up on an application, or ease someone’s burden. Let us remember that our choices affect not only us but also our spouse, children, parents, and those around us. While reflecting on destiny, let us not lose sight of today’s responsibility. Let us do what we can, recognize our limits where we do not know, turn back when we are wrong, and trust our Lord.