10 July 2023 — Being Trustworthy While Seeking Trust

10 July 2023

Question: Why are we still not at ease inside, even though we have a home, work, and family?

Because what we possess and what we seek within it are not the same. We may have a home but find no security in it.

We may have a customer but worry about whether they will keep their word. People may be around us, yet we may find no one to whom we can open up about our troubles.

So the issue is not merely possessing more things. We also need to consider the rightness of our relationship with those things.

Verse 82 of Surah An-Nisa calls us to reflect on the Qur’an. The following verse describes how news concerning security and fear should be evaluated.

Let us consider these two warnings together. Does the knowledge we read touch the fear we experience and the trust we seek?

Or do we learn the words and continue living with the same habits?

Trust: A Real Need Within Life

Question: Why is trust so valuable?

Because people do not merely want to buy goods. They also want the goods to turn out as described to them.

Someone who wants to live with their spouse also wants to trust them. Someone sharing an inheritance with a sibling expects their rights to be protected.

An employer awaiting payment from a customer is not thinking only of money. They also think about the promise being kept and the return for their labor not being lost.

When trust diminishes, fear increases. People who have been deceived before carry the possibility of being deceived again in their minds.

If we suffered a loss in one undertaking, we take our past with us when entering a new one. We may begin to think of a hardship that has not yet occurred as though it has.

Verse 83 of Surah An-Nisa teaches taking news of security or fear to those able to evaluate it instead of spreading it immediately.

Here there is an effort to understand instead of speaking hastily. There is consulting someone who knows the inside of a matter we do not know.

Looking at our own lives, we need this too. If we accept every word that magnifies our anxiety as true, seeing the way ahead becomes even harder.

Describing a fear and understanding its cause are not the same thing. That is why the contribution of someone who knows our problem and evaluates it with moderation matters.

Reflecting on the Qur’an also requires bringing such attentiveness into our lives. The verse we read should find expression in our speech and decisions.

People seeking trust should first also ask how they themselves inspire trust.

From Consuming Together to Making an Effort Together

Siblings may grow up at the same table. They may join the same trips and play the same games.

But if they have never made an effort for one another’s troubles, the bond between them may not be as strong as they expect.

Let us think of a child who is good at mathematics. Their sibling struggles with the same subject.

When they sit down and help, they do more than solve a problem. They take their sibling’s difficulty seriously and set aside time for them.

There is such effort within trust. The other person sees that they are not left alone when struggling.

Let us think of the fields cultivated through communal labor in the past. People did not gather merely to eat; they worked together and carried one another’s burdens.

While one person’s field was being dug, others also worked up a sweat. Then they gathered again for someone else’s need.

Work done together also created room for conversation and closeness. People knew one another not only in comfort, but also in difficulty.

Even pushing a stranded minibus together is a shared effort. At that moment, everyone sees that they need someone else’s labor.

Question: Are we together with our loved ones only while consuming?

Apart from eating, traveling, and having fun, what do we do for one another? When trouble arises, can we share our time and resources?

Sometimes, while wanting a newer phone, we postpone a loved one’s need. Then, when they call us, we say we have no money to help.

Here, looking only at our income is not enough. We also need to look at our priorities.

When we put every new desire first, the room we leave for someone else’s trouble decreases. Meeting a need, however, moves a relationship from words into behavior.

Being trustworthy is not merely presenting ourselves well. It means producing goodness that makes a difference in someone else’s life.

Worship’s Reflection in Life

It is easy to speak of honesty. The real issue is being able to remain honest when our interests are endangered.

A repairer may be highly skilled at their work. But if they sell a poor-quality part as a high-quality one, their skill does not make them trustworthy.

They may use a detail the customer does not know for their own gain. Thus, despite knowing their profession well, they may lose their moral standard in their work.

Knowledge and intention need to be considered together. We must direct the same question at ourselves regarding our relationship with the Qur’an.

Does what we read make us more honest? Does it make us more careful with people’s rights?

If we forget our neighbor’s trouble while discussing acts of worship, we should see the deficiency in our lives. We should not consider inheritance, trade, and family relationships disconnected from worship.

Question: Do people feel safe around us?

Can they entrust their property to us? When we make a promise, can they be certain it will be fulfilled?

These are not small questions. They show how the values we believe in are reflected in daily life.

Nor can we be content with giving our child only information to memorize. We must demonstrate through our behavior not lying, respecting others’ rights, and helping those in need.

Before the child we ask to help their sibling, we too must take our loved ones’ troubles seriously. The distance between what we say and how we live should not grow.

When we make a mistake, we should not seek new excuses to defend ourselves. We need to recognize the wrong, turn toward Allah, repent, and correct the behavior.

When seeking refuge in our Lord in the morning, let us also consider that day’s business. Let us ask for help in avoiding involvement in injustice, knowingly or unknowingly.

For trust is not merely a quality we expect from others. It is also a responsibility we must preserve anew every day.

Remaining Upright and Helping Bring About Goodness

Verse 84 of Surah An-Nisa highlights a person’s responsibility and encouraging believers. This reminder shows that we cannot evade our own behavior.

Wrongdoing around us does not justify our choosing the same path. Everyone’s words and behavior belong to them.

In trade, putting this into practice may sometimes be difficult. People feel serious pressure when salaries, taxes, and payments await at the end of the month.

But increasing needs do not make giving a customer false information right. We need to state the product’s qualities, deficiencies, and conditions clearly.

Nor does the other party having money give them unlimited rights. A business relationship should not turn into an arrangement in which people crush one another.

We work, strive, and do what we can. But we try not to put our integrity up for sale out of concern for sustenance.

Sometimes we may trust and receive nothing in return. A payment may be delayed, a loved one may hurt us, or we may hear unexpected words.

At such times, people become weary. Even so, they should not abandon their own standard because of someone else’s wrong.

Verse 85 of Surah An-Nisa reminds us that whoever helps bring about goodness and whoever helps bring about evil has a share in what they do.

That is why we should not look only at what we do ourselves. Let us also look at the actions we support, facilitate, and present as right.

We may normalize an evil because it pleases our self. We may even try to use a true statement as a justification for our wrong behavior.

Trusting in Allah’s forgiveness should not be an excuse to continue wrongdoing. Hope of forgiveness should direct people toward repentance and change.

Wanting to see the return for goodness immediately can also tire us. The person we help not acting in the same way does not make our good deed worthless.

Question: Do we do good to receive something in return, or for Allah’s pleasure?

Our answer to this question also affects how we will act when hurt. If we tie our reckoning solely to people’s reactions, we may quickly give up uprightness.

Let us also evaluate ourselves while in hardship. As we recognize behaviors we can correct and turn toward our Lord, let us continue making the effort needed to solve our problem.

The issue is not forcibly changing others. It is explaining, prompting reflection, and setting a good example in our own lives.

Merely listing prohibitions is not enough for our child or those around us. We need to explain how a behavior affects our relationships and trust.

While speaking about honesty, let us not hide our own needs either. People become hungry and tired; they want to earn and make a living.

The problem is not having needs. It is which path we choose while meeting them.

If wanting a better possession causes us to disregard those around us, we should stop and think here. For desires do not end on their own.

After a better home, another home may be considered. After a new vehicle, a newer one may be desired.

Within this race, we forget that trust is not an object that can be bought. Rather, trust is something our behavior builds over time.

People do not trust us merely because we have abundant resources. They also see how we use those resources, what we do in difficult times, and whether we respect someone else’s rights.

That is why we should not belittle the small choices in our own lives. The quality of our relationships gradually becomes clear through these choices we make every day. Let us not forget this.

Homes may change, vehicles may change, opportunities may increase. But people’s need for an honest word and a trustworthy relationship continues.

Today, let us begin with the part that falls to us. Let us keep a promise, take a need seriously, and not produce an excuse for a wrong of ours.

May my Lord make us among His servants who reflect on what they read and bring what they reflect on into their lives. May He grant us the ability to help bring about goodness and preserve uprightness even in difficulty.

Let the trust we seek first find expression in our own behavior.