Not Becoming Arrogant After Hardship: Patience, Gratitude, and Righteous Deeds

10 March 2023

It is easy to turn to Allah in hardship. But what happens when the hardship passes?

The debt is paid off. A job is found. The illness eases. The problem at home is resolved. A person feels relieved.

A new test begins right here.

Surah Hud describes how a person who receives blessings after suffering hardship may become exultant and boastful, saying, “The troubles have left me.” The preceding verse presents ingratitude; here we encounter the conceit that follows relief.

How Easy It Is to Say “I Did It”

Question: Whom do we credit with success when we overcome a hardship?

“I worked hard and paid it off.”

“I found the right doctor and solved it.”

“I struggled and got back on my feet.”

There is effort in all of these. People should work. They should seek solutions. They should take responsibility.

But the issue is not denying effort; it is not making a god of effort.

When people emerge from hardship, they may begin to see themselves as special. As the feeling of “I succeeded” grows, gratitude may diminish.

Someone who was praying desperately a short while ago may pray less once things go well. Someone who tried to give charity while penniless may share less after becoming wealthy. Someone who prostrated in prayer when their marriage was troubled may return to their old ways once the problems at home are resolved.

The departure of hardship does not mean the test is over. The form of the test changes.

Patience Is Not Only for Hardship

After describing the exultant and boastful person, Surah Hud makes an exception for those who are patient and do righteous deeds.

This is a very important measure.

Patience is not merely enduring pain. Patience is also needed in abundance.

Will a person maintain moderation when earning money?

Will they refrain from arrogance when praised?

Will they refrain from looking down on others when their business grows?

Will they refrain from seeing themselves as superior to everyone when their knowledge increases?

Question: What is our first response when a blessing comes?

Showing off?

Gratitude?

The desire to acquire more?

Or greater responsibility?

Righteous deeds gain meaning right here. When people turn the blessing they receive into a good deed instead of using it solely for their own comfort, a different path opens.

To Whom Does Praise Belong?

People want to do their work well. They want what they explain to be good. They want to succeed in their work.

There is a subtle test here, too.

When we do something well, saying, “How good I am,” is not the same as saying, “Praise be to my Lord, who gave me this opportunity.”

Success easily stirs a person’s ego.

Sometimes, when people begin explaining something, their first concern is the question “What will they think of me?” rather than meeting the other person’s need.

“What if I explain it badly?”

“What if I embarrass myself?”

“What if they don’t like me?”

Behind these fears, too, there is often ego.

Yet if the aim is to convey the truth, the apprenticeship stage is also accepted. People may make mistakes, become nervous, or mix up their words. But they do not give up.

Focusing on being useful instead of seeking praise protects a person from ego.

Living for This World or Living for Allah’s Pleasure?

In this world, people buy homes, establish businesses, marry, raise children, and earn money.

None of these is bad in itself.

The problem is setting every goal solely for “me.”

Let me be comfortable.

Let me earn more.

Let me consume more.

Let me have a child.

Let my name stand out.

Let me own more.

As this way of thinking grows, awareness of the Hereafter diminishes.

Surah Hud reminds us that those who desire only worldly life and its adornment may receive the reward for their deeds in this world, but a life that disregards the Hereafter will turn into a grievous loss.

This does not mean withdrawing from the world entirely.

On the contrary, it means correcting our intention as we work.

Wanting a good home when entering marriage.

When raising a child, saying not only “Let them be successful,” but also “Let them be a good and responsible person.”

When earning money, thinking of sharing as well as saving.

When doing business, preserving honesty as well as profit.

The Majority Is Not Always the Measure

People often make decisions by looking at those around them.

“Everyone does it this way.”

“Everyone earns money this way.”

“Everyone lives this way.”

But truth is not measured by the majority.

One of the things the Qur’an repeatedly reminds us of is that most people may not believe and that the majority may not always point to what is right.

That is why people must maintain their own standards.

Being content with little is important here.

Constantly seeking something new, constantly needing more, and pursuing other things without even enjoying what we eat and drink can wear us out.

Sometimes enjoying a simple meal, being content with what we have, and not constantly seeking more is a great blessing.

Question: Are we truly seeking blessings, or are we feeding our insatiable self?

People need to ask themselves this question honestly.

Remembering Through Bismillah

Saying “Bismillahirrahmanirrahim” in daily life is not merely an opening phrase.

When beginning a meal, leaving home, starting work, or beginning something new, people remind themselves: “I am not alone. I am not the owner of these opportunities.”

This remembrance protects a person from arrogance.

For we have the same Lord when money comes and when it goes.

We have the same Lord in health and in illness.

In success and in failure, too.

Question: When we escape hardship, do we draw closer to our Lord or move further away?

This is the real measure.

Praying in hardship and not forgetting in abundance…

Giving thanks instead of boasting in success…

Giving more when we earn…

Not keeping praise entirely for ourselves when we are praised…

And continuing righteous deeds in every circumstance.

Watch the Ego Even When Giving a Warning

People can succumb to their ego even while explaining something they believe to be right.

We want to say something beneficial to someone. But when the other person does not accept it, our chest tightens. They may belittle us, say, “Who are you?” or dismiss what we explain.

Our intention is tested again right here.

Am I saying this to receive applause, or because I want it to be useful?

If our only expectation is acceptance, we give up the moment we are rejected. But if our intention is to convey the truth, we improve our manner of speaking and continue.

Sometimes people look at the standing of the person speaking the truth. They ask, “What qualifications do they have? How wealthy are they? What car do they drive? How many people listen to them?”

Yet the truth of a statement is not measured by the worldly power of the person saying it.

Question: Are we seeking the truth, or the words of someone who appears powerful?

This distinction is very important. Wealth, titles, and visible success may give people a sense of trust, but none of these alone is a measure of truth.

Giving as We Earn

Another test begins when earnings increase.

While in debt, people may be more careful, more humble, and more prayerful. Then, when they are comfortable, they may fall into the feeling that “I no longer have any need.”

Yet an increase in blessings also means an increase in responsibility.

When earnings grow, charitable spending is expected to increase according to one’s means, rather than decrease. When knowledge increases, we need to turn it into benefit rather than distance ourselves from people. When power increases, we need to shoulder burdens rather than oppress others.

The measure given by Surah Hud is very clear here: the issue is not merely emerging from hardship; it is who we are after we emerge.

Arrogance is the feeling that “Nothing can happen to me now.” Gratitude is the awareness that “Everything given to me is a trust.”

If this awareness is maintained, people remember their Lord in comfort as well.

When Intention Improves, Daily Life Changes Too

Bringing awareness of the Hereafter into life is visible in small tasks as well as great acts of worship.

Saying, “Let me meet the needs of those at home,” while cooking, saying, “Let me earn lawfully and wrong no one,” while working, and thinking, “Let my child be a responsible person, not only a successful one,” while raising a child changes the intention.

We still do the same work, but we do not put only ourselves at the center.

Question: How can we bring the pursuit of Allah’s pleasure into the most ordinary task we do today?

This question does not detach us from worldly life. On the contrary, it makes our work in the world more meaningful.

Not Always Seeking Enjoyment in Novelty

When people are unsatisfied, they may constantly seek something new.

A new restaurant, new belongings, a new trip, new purchases…

None of these is wrong in itself. But if we constantly consume to cover the unrest within us, beyond a certain point even more will not be enough.

Being content with little, enjoying an ordinary meal, and feeling at peace sitting with the same people are great riches.

Gratitude increases life’s enjoyment. Arrogance, however, begins to make what we have seem inadequate.

Question: On the day we find relief, do we remember the promises we made during difficult days?

There may be times when we say, “If this works out, I will share more, live more carefully, and not forget my Lord.” Remembering these promises when comfort comes is one of the most concrete forms of gratitude.

Another measure is this: do we forget in comfort the people who stood by us in hardship? Showing loyalty to those who supported us in difficulty is part of appreciating blessings. People should preserve a sense of gratitude and loyalty not only toward their Lord, but also toward those through whom help reached them.

Emerging from hardship is a success; but remaining free of arrogance after that success is an even greater test.