Is Knowing What Is Right Enough? Truth, Guidance, and Our Own Choices

16 May 2021

Question: Why does someone persist in wrongdoing even when they see what is right?

Sometimes we know very well the cause of the hardship we experience.

But instead of changing that cause, we prefer to blame other people.

We have made a mistaken decision. Even so, saying “I have done nothing wrong” feels easier.

Verses 177 and 178 of Surah Al-A‘raf invite us to reflect on denying the signs, wronging oneself, and guidance.

The issue is not only what we know. It is how we direct our lives with what we know.

Is the Truth Easy, or Is What We Are Used to Easy?

People may immediately accept words that please them.

Those words do not ask them to change their conduct.

But true knowledge sometimes makes people uncomfortable.

You need to abandon a habit. You need to admit a mistake.

When you learn that something is going wrong, merely describing others’ faults does not solve the problem.

Question: Do I want to learn the cause of my problem, or am I seeking an explanation that will comfort me?

When we see an outcome, we need to investigate the steps through which it arose.

Someone may have stopped speaking with their family. But this distance is sometimes the accumulation of small hurts over a long period.

A child may not listen to their parents. Yet criticizing only the outcome without considering what the child has experienced and how they were raised is incomplete.

Question: Are we truly making an effort to understand the process behind the outcome?

Sometimes learning what is true requires patience. To understand a manufacturing defect, we need to look at the material, the technique used, and the work as a whole.

We may need the same care to understand a person’s conduct.

But while learning these things, let us not assume that what we already know applies in every situation.

Reaching the truth requires not only forming ideas, but also testing our ideas.

These two are not the same thing.

Consider a company. Defects continually arise in its production.

The product is damaged, and the customer is dissatisfied.

The source of the problem may be the material used. Even an incorrectly chosen screw can affect the lifespan of the entire product.

The material, production, and cost need to be examined together.

If we want to produce a quality product, we cannot avoid seeing the truth.

We cannot choose the wrong material to save a few pennies and then overlook the resulting damage.

The same applies within a family.

Problems may be accumulating in a marriage.

Distance may be forming between a mother and child.

We may not have spoken with a sibling for years.

In such situations, is looking only at the most recent event enough?

Sometimes we see the outcome but do not want to see the choices that led to it.

Our own conduct may have played a part among those choices.

Drawing closer to the truth begins with learning to look at ourselves from outside.

Listing other people’s mistakes is easy. Recognizing our own takes greater courage.

Learning the truth is one step; changing accordingly is another.

When we accept this, we can begin seeking a solution instead of someone to blame.

Are Compassion and Giving In the Same Thing?

We often confuse two concepts in our lives: compassion and giving in.

They may appear similar from the outside.

We do not remind someone of what they owe us. We may immediately think we are showing compassion.

But the intention behind this matters.

Are we truly considering their need?

Or are we remaining silent because we are afraid to defend our rights?

When reflecting on compassion, we should honestly know what we are capable of.

Someone owes us money. We know their circumstances and choose to forgo the debt.

In this situation, we can make a conscious decision to lighten their burden.

But perhaps we say nothing simply because we do not dare to speak.

The same behavior may be visible from outside in both situations, but the intention and outcome differ.

Question: Am I concealing my own fear while saying that I am doing good?

Continually giving in within a relationship may eventually prevent the other person from recognizing their own responsibility.

On the other hand, becoming excessively harsh at every mistake also damages the relationship.

Acting with balance means finding a way to understand a person without concealing the truth.

Let us make neither our own comfort nor the other person’s wishes our sole measure.

Question: Does my sacrifice bring goodness to the other person, or does it lead them to continue their wrongful conduct?

To show compassion, we need to be able to understand the other person’s situation.

But understanding does not mean overlooking every wrong.

Sometimes we need to speak openly so that someone can recognize their mistake.

At other times, although we have the power, we lighten their burden.

What matters here is considering the truth and the outcome together, rather than only our own emotions.

We see this in raising children too.

Immediately fulfilling every wish may make a child happy at first.

But a child who never learns to take responsibility may struggle when facing life’s difficulties.

Clearing the table, working, and making an effort may not be enjoyed immediately.

Even so, people need to learn the value of a result obtained through effort.

Both excessive harshness and excessive yielding can draw a person away from balance.

To find the right measure, we should look not only at our own wishes but also at the outcome.

We are like this in seeking guidance too.

We cannot consider everything that pleases us to be right.

Someone agreeing with us does not show that they are right.

If we want to draw closer to the truth, we sometimes need to confront the words we hear.

Seeing the Blessings, Seeing the Test

There are so many blessings around us to which we have grown accustomed.

We drink water, eat food, and speak with one another through video calls.

Many opportunities that once could not even be imagined have become ordinary parts of our lives.

But we can forget the value of what we have become used to.

When using a phone, we see the convenience it provides.

We do not always consider how that convenience affects our time.

Our desires can pull us in different directions.

Some people constantly think about earnings; others may place other people’s approval above everything else.

Someone else, dissatisfied with their means, turns toward a bigger car or a newer possession.

When these desires begin to govern life entirely, people may struggle to question their own choices.

They do not want to move away from the pleasure and comfort to which they are accustomed.

Question: Which desire confronts me with the boundary I find hardest to observe?

Knowing this question matters.

When we recognize our own weak point, we can act more carefully there.

We can also look at how our surroundings influence us.

Instead of immediately getting carried away by someone’s words, we can remember our own measure.

Seeking guidance is not independent of our everyday choices. We can try to preserve that direction even in a small decision.

We benefit from a variety of food. Yet we struggle to distinguish our needs from our wants.

Living in abundance does not mean that we will make the right choices.

Sometimes desires grow as opportunities increase.

Then people turn all their attention toward having more.

Question: Amid all these opportunities, have I become more aware, or have I merely begun wanting more things?

We should ask ourselves this question.

Let us consider what Prophet Musa’s community experienced.

People who experienced deliverance later turning toward mistaken choices reminds us that experiencing blessings alone is not enough.

People need to reflect on the sign they have seen.

Today, we can look at the blessings in our own lives with the same care.

Let gratitude not remain merely a word on our tongues.

Let using our means with moderation be part of it too.

Technology that increases one person’s knowledge may consume another person’s time entirely.

Power used in an undertaking can serve good production or a mistaken choice.

So alongside the blessing, there is responsibility for how we use it.

Asking for Guidance, Turning Toward What Is Right

Verse 177 of Surah Al-A‘raf describes how those who deny the signs wrong themselves.

Verse 178 focuses on guidance and loss.

When reading these expressions, let us turn toward ourselves instead of readily judging other people’s ultimate outcome.

When I learn what is right, do I try to draw closer to it?

Or do I forget what I know to avoid disturbing my habit?

Sometimes people learn a great deal but struggle to bring what they learn into their lives.

Habit is powerful.

Abandoning a behavior we have practiced for years takes effort.

Thought changes, but repeated effort is needed for conduct to change too.

When we begin moving away from a wrong, we may feel the influence of our former circle.

When we abandon a habit, our desires may seek it again.

At that moment, merely remembering our initial decision is not enough.

We should also remember why we made that decision.

Reading the Qur’an, reflecting on its verses, and applying what we learn hold an important place in this remembering.

We should also see how our fears, desires, and the words around us influence us.

Someone who believes everything they are told can easily lose their direction.

That is why trying to distinguish true knowledge from rumor is valuable.

We do not have to speak with immediate certainty about subjects we do not know.

Sometimes saying, “I have not yet understood this matter,” opens the door to learning.

Turning toward ourselves and being able to admit our mistake requires the same courage.

Our past mistakes do not have to define us completely.

But neither can we change by overlooking them.

If a relationship has deteriorated, let us try to understand the reasons.

If our business is suffering, let us investigate where we have gone wrong.

If a habit is carrying us in the wrong direction, let us confront it.

Then let us ask Allah for guidance and take the necessary step toward what is right.

Question: Which truth I know can I live by today without postponing it any longer?

Let us choose an action, however small.

Let us not merely speak of it; let us put it into practice.

For what changes a person is not the moment they hear the truth, but the moment they choose to turn toward it.