What Will We Have Changed When the Hardship Passes?

18 September 2023

Do We Only Want the Hardship to End?

Question: While wishing to emerge from a difficult period, do we also think about what kind of person we will be when we emerge?

We experience a problem.

We want it to be resolved.

We pray and wait for a way to open.

This is a very understandable wish.

But sometimes we focus all our attention on the problem ending.

The space we give to thinking about our own attitude remains very narrow.

Verses 40 and 41 of Surah Al-An’am ask whom people will turn to when faced with the prospect of great hardship.

When people see that the things they trust are not enough, they feel their own limits more clearly.

They realize that the resources they have cannot meet everything.

Turning to Allah at such a moment also involves acknowledging our helplessness.

We see that we cannot manage everything ourselves.

But supplication is not a transaction through which we are guaranteed to obtain the result we want.

Asking is ours to do.

We cannot determine the outcome entirely according to our own desires.

This distinction allows us to reflect on the sincerity of our turning to Him.

Do we trust Allah only as long as He gives us the outcome we want?

Or do we truly acknowledge the limits of our own knowledge and power?

This is easy to say.

Maintaining it amid a lived difficulty takes effort.

People can both do their best and know that they cannot control everything.

As we pray, let us look not only at life’s external conditions, but also at our own direction.

How Does Our Heart Respond When We Hear a Warning?

Verses 42 and 43 of Surah Al-An’am raise the subjects of turning to Allah in hardship and the hardening of hearts.

When reading these verses, we should first consider our own behavior.

What do we do when we receive a warning?

Do we stop and listen?

Or do we immediately prepare sentences to defend ourselves?

People may avoid seeing their own mistakes.

Because if they admit their mistake, they will have to change something.

They may need to abandon a familiar behavior.

They may need to apologize to someone.

They may need to take on a responsibility.

So sometimes they multiply their explanations.

They describe everyone’s mistakes.

They describe how difficult the circumstances are.

But when it comes to their own part, the conversation becomes brief.

Yet recognizing a mistake does not mean declaring ourselves entirely bad.

It means opening the door to a more correct action.

There is another point we need to be careful about here.

We cannot make definitive spiritual judgments about someone by looking at the hardship they experience.

We should not turn a person’s suffering into a reason to see ourselves as superior.

We should read these reminders first in relation to our own turning to Allah.

Question: In words that touch a nerve, do I look only for faults, or do I also consider whether there is some truth in them?

Not every criticism may be correct.

Not every comment may be fair.

But this is not a reason to listen to no warning at all.

People need an openness that allows them to hear about their own mistakes.

This openness does not mean giving up their right to defend themselves.

It means not rejecting a valid warning simply because it upsets them.

What Behavior Are We Turning Toward When We Repent?

We may feel remorse.

We may ask Allah for forgiveness.

But we also need to think about how our remorse is reflected in our lives.

What did we do wrong?

Which behavior do we need to change?

What will we do differently when we face the same circumstances?

Without asking these questions, remorse may sometimes remain an undefined feeling.

People feel upset but cannot see where to turn.

After a while, they return to their familiar behavior.

This is why naming the mistake matters.

If we failed to keep a promise, let us not lose that fact within a general feeling of sadness.

If we neglected a responsibility, let us not cover it with other matters.

Let us see clearly what falls to us.

Others may have had an influence.

But describing their influence should not lead us to avoid thinking about our own choice altogether.

A friend’s behavior may have influenced us.

We may have acquired a habit within a particular environment.

Even so, we need to choose our own attitude toward the wrong we recognize today.

Repentance is not only feeling sorrow over the past, but reconsidering our direction.

People do not have to be cruel to themselves while doing this.

They can hope without minimizing their mistake.

They can begin again while accepting their responsibility.

Looking at one’s own mistake and erasing one’s entire worth are not the same thing.

Preserving this distinction helps make change more genuine.

What matters is not continually producing the same defense.

It is seeing what we can correct today.

Is What We Possess the Whole of Our Lives?

We want our work to go well.

We want financial comfort.

We want our opportunities for the future to increase.

These are part of life.

But when we tie our entire being to them, every change may shake us completely.

A problem in a job does not remain merely a problem concerning that job.

It may become a judgment about our own worth.

We may experience one loss as the loss of our entire life.

This is where we need to think about our relationship with what we possess.

Are we using what we have?

Or are we defining ourselves only through it?

Verse 44 of Surah Al-An’am describes doors of opportunity opening to those who forgot the warnings, and what happened afterward.

This reminder prompts us not to regard abundance as an automatic certificate of righteousness.

An increase in resources does not prove that all our choices are right.

Comfort does not remove responsibility either.

People should look at themselves not only when they lose, but also when they gain.

Question: When things go well, do we become more responsible, or do we think we no longer need to reflect on anything?

Reaching a goal may bring joy.

But if we pushed aside what was right while reaching that goal, we cannot ignore it.

Alongside our gain, we should also consider our intention.

Alongside our comfort, we should also consider our relationships.

We should also think about how the resources we possess affect other people’s lives.

None of this requires withdrawing from the world.

It requires forming a more measured relationship with the world.

Can Our Perspective Change Before Our Circumstances Do?

Sometimes it is not possible for the external problem to be resolved immediately.

The other person may not behave as we wish.

Repairing a relationship may take time.

We may not be able to change all the circumstances on our own.

But seeing the limits of our own responsibility still matters.

Doing what we can is one thing.

Trying to make decisions for someone else is another.

After fulfilling our own duty, trying to control the entire outcome can exhaust us.

So we must distinguish what belongs to us.

What can we say?

What can we do?

At what point does another person’s choice begin?

This distinction does not mean treating the problem as insignificant.

It means directing our own strength to the right place.

Similarly, gratitude does not mean ignoring the difficulty being experienced.

Imagine a woman living in a small, damp home, who has difficulty moving, offering tea to her guest.

Even within her own hardship, she sees something she can share.

This attitude does not require us to ignore her needs.

But it prompts us to consider how a person sees the blessings they have.

Sometimes, amid abundant resources, we count only what we lack.

Sometimes, within limited resources, something to share can be found.

We should not turn our suffering into a competition here.

We should reflect on our own perspective.

What do we truly have?

What do we constantly overlook?

What good are we in a position to do?

All of life’s problems may not be resolved at once.

But this does not mean we can take no responsibility today.

We can admit a mistake.

We can fulfill a promise.

We can share a resource.

We can correct our own behavior without forcing another person’s choice.

At the beginning, we asked what kind of person we would be when the hardship passes.

Let us not leave this question only to the future.

Some of the change can begin while the hardship is still continuing.

With a more honest perspective.

With a clearer sense of responsibility.

With gratitude that recognizes what we have.

It is understandable for people to focus all their attention on a single problem.

Especially if that problem directly affects their life, seeing other things may become difficult.

Even so, we can try not to define our own lives solely by the name of that problem.

There is a difficulty.

Alongside it, there are still responsibilities we carry and resources we can benefit from.

Remembering these does not mean belittling the difficulty.

It means not losing sight of life as a whole.

Gratitude helps us recognize the blessings within that whole.

Effort allows us to turn toward what we can change.

Supplication carries our turning to Allah with an awareness of our own limits.

None of these makes the others unnecessary.

Doing our best does not mean we command every outcome.

Turning to Allah does not mean leaving our duty to someone else either.

Let us consider this balance in our own relationships.

We can speak openly with someone close to us.

We can admit our own mistake.

We can express our expectation honestly.

But we cannot fully control whether they give the answer we want.

We should distinguish fulfilling our own responsibility from our power over the outcome.

In this way, we do not tie our entire lives to another person’s changing.

We do not constantly postpone the good action before us.

We do not suspend righteousness while waiting for comfort to arrive.

We turn toward a good deed we can do today.

This turning may not remove every problem at once.

But it allows us to see our own part more clearly.

While wishing for the hardship to end, we also reflect on how we behave within it.

Question: Today, are we only waiting for circumstances to change, or are we also turning toward the change that falls to us?