Why Does a Goal Arise? Need, Effort, and Balance

20 March 2023

Why do people set goals?

Because they need something. Because they feel something is missing. To relieve a pain, fulfill a desire, or carry out a responsibility.

In Surah Hud, the account of Nuh’s people tells us that the powerful leaders looked down on him, while those who followed him were people society regarded as weak. This account opens an important door to thinking about people’s relationship with power and need.

Why Can Power Blind a Person?

Question: When is a person more open to receiving advice?

Often, when they need something.

Someone who feels completely powerful may imagine that they need no one.

The leaders among Nuh’s people also speak dismissively to the prophet, saying, “You are only a human being like us, and those who follow you are the weak members of society.”

For them, the measure of truth is power, position, and superiority.

The same misconception may continue today.

We may look at someone’s car, diploma, position, or wealth and consider their words more truthful. Yet we may dismiss the words of someone who lives more simply.

Yet truth is not measured by the worldly power of the person who speaks it.

Need Gives Rise to Goals

A tenant works to pay the rent.

A hungry person looks for food.

A sick person sets a goal of getting better.

Someone who feels a lack in some area takes action to make up for it.

That is why abundance can sometimes weaken a person’s sense of purpose.

Why would a child who has everything provided put in more effort?

Why would someone who immediately receives everything they want learn to wait?

How will someone who has never experienced deprivation appreciate what they have?

Question: If our child has no goal, are they really lazy, or has a sense of need never developed?

We need to ask this question.

Goals cannot be forced upon people. A meaningful desire must develop behind the goal.

The answer to the question “What happens if you do this, and what happens if you do not?” must become clear.

Scarcity Is Not Always Bad

Scarcity here does not mean crushing people or depriving them.

Sometimes we need to delay something, expect effort, and give responsibility.

Teaching a child to wait instead of immediately buying the shoes they want may help them better appreciate that blessing.

Allowing a young person to work elsewhere instead of starting them at the top of the family business without facing any difficulties may teach them the foundations of the work.

People develop skills in proportion to the burdens they carry.

Of course, moderation matters. Excessive pressure can also break a person.

This is where balance comes in.

A Goal Can Also Become an Idol

It is good to have a goal.

But when a goal becomes excessive, it begins to control the person.

More money, a higher position, a better home, a more successful child… In pursuing these, a person may lose their sense of proportion.

When a goal does not work out, they may think life is over.

Yet failing to earn money from a venture does not always mean that the venture is entirely wrong. Sometimes patience is needed, sometimes the method changes, and sometimes people realize that they have attached too much meaning to that goal.

Question: Is our goal serving us, or have we become slaves to our goal?

This question is very important.

A Goal Built on Envy

Not every goal is good.

People can also set goals out of envy.

“If he has a car, I must have a better one.”

“If she is ahead of me, I must overtake her.”

“Let everyone see.”

These goals may make people work, but they leave them troubled inside.

There is also hatred and arrogance in Iblis’s goal. Having a goal is not good in itself; we need to look at where the goal comes from.

If the intention is corrupt, the trouble may grow as the result grows.

Keep Going, but Do Not Go to Extremes

People should not stop completely when they reach a goal.

They cannot say, “I no longer have any responsibilities,” just because they have a home, a car, and a business that is doing well.

As one’s means increase, so do the opportunities to do something for others.

If they do not need money, they can do charitable work. If they have knowledge, they can teach. If they have strength, they can ease someone’s burden.

But they should not go to extremes while doing this either.

A goal that disregards family, health, and basic responsibilities also upsets the balance.

Question: Is the goal we set today making us a better, more balanced, and more useful person?

A person’s goal should be not only to possess things but also to mature.

The account of Nuh reminds us that power and truth are not the same thing. Sometimes someone who appears weak may be more open to the truth, while someone who appears powerful may be more dependent on their own power.

Nuh’s Warning and Compassion

Nuh does not merely give his people information; he says that he fears the consequences that will befall them.

This shows that compassion should lie at the heart of a warning.

Warning someone does not mean humiliating them.

The attitude “I know, you do not” is not the same as the attitude “I do not want you to be harmed.”

Question: When we warn someone, is our aim to belittle them or to protect them?

If our intention is to protect, our language changes too. We become more patient. We try to understand why the other person thinks this way.

The leaders among Nuh’s people, by contrast, look down on those they consider weak. Here, power is turned into evidence of being right.

This misconception is still alive today.

A Child Is Not Given a Goal; the Ground Is Prepared for One

Parents may say, “I want my child to be very successful.” But if they solve every difficulty in the child’s life themselves, they may weaken the child’s sense of purpose.

Reminding them about every assignment, making up for every shortfall, immediately buying everything they want, and rescuing them from every problem may all be done with good intentions.

But if children never feel their own needs, they may find it difficult to form their own goals.

Question: Are we preparing our children for life, or are we removing life from their path altogether?

Sometimes waiting is also education.

Sometimes asking them to save their own money is also education.

Sometimes allowing them to complete a task on their own is also education.

The purpose here is not to cause suffering but to develop skills.

Recognizing the Emotion Behind a Goal

The same goal may arise from two different intentions in two different people.

One person wants to buy a house to establish a safe home for their family.

Another wants the same house only to appear superior to someone else.

One person wants a profession in order to be useful.

Another wants it only so that “no one will be superior to me.”

From the outside, the goal looks the same. The intention within is different.

That is why we need to question our goals from time to time.

“Why do I want this?”

“Will I feel worthless if this goal is not achieved?”

“Is this goal making me a better person?”

These questions preserve balance.

When a Goal Ends, a New Responsibility Begins

People may feel an emptiness when they reach a goal.

They have worked for years to buy a home, and they have bought it. For years they have grown their business, and grown it. They have educated their child, and the child has graduated.

Then comes the question, “What happens now?”

At this point, we must remember that a goal is not merely about possessing things.

If there are means, there is the opportunity to benefit someone else.

If there is experience, there is teaching.

If there is money, there is sharing.

If there is time, there is taking on someone’s burden.

As long as a person keeps going, their goals become more meaningful too.

Forcing Someone and Creating Desire Are Not the Same Thing

We can get a child to reach a goal by constantly pushing them.

We make them study, send them to courses, and monitor every step. In the end, they may gain admission to university.

But if the goal is ours rather than theirs, they may not be happy even when they reach it.

Question: Are we teaching people to set goals, or are we imposing our own goal on someone else?

For desire to develop, people need to see the meaning of what they are going to do.

What will they gain if they work? What responsibility will they bear if they do not?

Applying pressure alone without understanding this relationship may bring results in the short term, but it can kill desire in the long term.

Respect for Another Person’s Goal

Not everyone has the same abilities or path in life.

One person’s goal may be university, another’s to learn a good trade. One person’s goal may be to establish a company, another’s to provide for their family in a balanced way.

It would be wrong to measure the greatness of a goal only by money and position.

What matters is being able to build a lawful, responsible, and beneficial life.

Question: If we were to choose just one good goal for the coming period, what would it be?

The goal does not have to be very big. Working regularly, reducing a debt, learning a profession, contributing more to the family, or correcting a habit is also a goal. A small but sustainable goal gets a person moving.

Failure is also part of learning on the way to a goal. People may not achieve results immediately with every attempt. The purpose here is not to shield our children or ourselves out of fear of failure, but to develop the strength to learn from failure. Need sets us in motion; patience keeps us moving.

A true goal is one that makes a person more responsible rather than arrogant.